


You Know What They Say About Assuming

by Portals_To_A_New_World



Series: Southern Charms [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, bones is a dork, but we love him, that sweet sweet smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-07 18:05:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19474498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Portals_To_A_New_World/pseuds/Portals_To_A_New_World
Summary: “Y’know, Doctor, it’s a good thing I like watching your lips move; otherwise, I might never hear anything you say.”“Lieutenant, that is highly illogical, as you have no history of hearing problems.”“Ignore her, Spock.”“Oh, it’s not a hearing problem, Commander. It’s a concentration problem. I find the good doctor’s looks are completely unfair and entirely too perfect to ignore.”“Lieutenant, might I remind you that you are not there to flirt.”“My apologies, Captain.” Bones’ eyes flashed with anger, and his jaw clenched to avoid throwing his tricorder. Boy, you had really done it this time.





	1. Chapter 1

“Lieutenant, my office.” You opened your mouth to respond, but he cut you off with a simple “Now.” You cast your eyes to the floor and missed the slight falter in his step when you murmured

“Yes, Doctor,” The walk to the medbay was dangerously silent, you were trying to figure out how to explain to your family that you’d been kicked off the flagship of the fleet for flirting with it’s CMO too much. They always did say your mouth was going to get you into trouble one day.

“Excuse me?” You looked up in surprise, not realizing that you had not only reached McCoy’s office but that you had also spoken that last thought aloud. Your mouth flopped open and closed as your brain desperately tried to find a response. He stalked towards you, backing you up against the wall. “ _My_ mouth is going to get _me_ into trouble?” In any other situation, the incredulous look on his face would have been hilarious, as it was though, it only served to shock your brain into responding.

“No! I was just thinking about how my family always warned me that my mouth was going to get me into trouble. Guess they were right, huh?” You said trying to ignore the part of you that was screaming for you to reach out and slam your lips against his. Leonard scoffed as he stepped back, and you tried not to visibly relax after his body was so close.

“I’d say so. You know you could be sent back to the academy for your _mouth_?” Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You knew he was right, in fact, protocol mandated that’s what was to be done at this point.

“I’m sorry, Doctor,” You said, returning your gaze to the floor, hoping it would hide the tears in your eyes. Getting kicked off the Enterprise was nothing compared to the fact you’d ruined any chance at being anything more than a friend; not even that, considering how angry he’d gotten on the planet.

“Leonard.” You looked up in confusion.

“What?”

“Call me Leonard. If you call me doctor one more time, I think I might explode,” Still confused, but not wanting to push him anymore, you decided to do as he said.

“If I could, Leonard, I had no intentions to offend-”

“Offend? Sweetheart I’d have to be crazier than Harry Mudd to be offended by someone as pretty as you flirting with me. However, I have no intentions to hurt Jim so unless you stop I will report-”

“Jim? What does he have to do with this?” Leonard scowled at you.

“(y/n), I think I’d know that my best friend happened to be dating the most beautiful woman on the ship,” You were too confused to offer any sort of response, so you settled for raising an eyebrow instead. “Please, I may be just an old country doctor, but I’m not an idiot. He never stops talking about you. I see the way you pace when he’s on an away mission. Hell, you bout lost your mind when he came back from that hellhole planet with all those arrows in his chest last month. So don’t insult me by trying to pretend-”

“Doctor McCoy, James Kirk is my brother in law. Now I realize it might be confusing cause I’m just some redneck tactical officer from North Carolina, but I don’t actually fuck my family members.” You said, not entirely sure why you were so defensive. On the other hand, rendering the great Leonard McCoy speechless was more than worth it, so you continued. “If that is all, I need to have a word with said family member, as my sister was in labor before we left, and I’d like to find out if I have a nephew or a niece to look forward to meeting.” Leonard simply nodded his head, still too shocked to speak. You spun and tried not to stomp, though you probably failed. You knew Bones wasn’t really to blame, as Jim apparently never told him that you were related, but your frustration at nearly being kicked off the ship for such a stupid misunderstanding was overwhelming. Your confusion at why Jim would talk about you so much; furthermore why he never mentioned that you were his sister in law; just fueled your frustration even more and by the time you reached the captain’s quarters you ended up hitting the door chime a little harder than was necessary. Your face must have portrayed your frustration, as Jim attempted to subtly hit the soundproofing as you pushed inside.

“(y/n)! Don’t tell me Bones threatened to throw you off the ship, cause if he did, I’ll go and talk to him. He’s just stubborn and-” You held up a hand to cut him off.

“Why does Bones think we’re dating?” It took a minute for your words to process, and the confusion on his face would have been funny if you weren’t so upset.

“He’s just scared cause he- wait, what?”

“Yeah. He said that you never stop talking about me, and I’m always worried about you so of course he’d know that his best friend was dating the most beautif u l…” You trailed off as your brain caught up and realized what Leonard had said. He thought you were the most beautiful woman on the ship? You shook your head, trying to focus. You could ask Bones about that later. “Speaking of, why do you talk about me so much?” Jim let out a frustrated sigh.

“First of all, I only talk about you when I’m trying to get him to pluck up the courage to talk to you,” He said, running his hand down his face.

“Why would you try to get him to talk to me?”

“Cause he likes you! He’s just too scared to admit it,” You gave him a skeptical look, and he shook his head. “No, I’m serious. You should have seen his face when he first saw you,” Jim let out a small laugh. “And you really should have seen your face when I introduced the two of you,” You blushed thinking back to the first time you met the good doctor. You had just gotten off the shuttle as everyone was rushing around to get everything ready to depart when you heard Jim call you over. You knew from the moment you saw the grumpy expression of the man standing next to Jim, you were fucked. You could only imagine your expression as you got closer and saw the enigmatic color of his eyes. You don’t think you managed to look away from them for a second, and you honestly couldn’t remember what you said to the two men before they got called to the bridge. You did, however, remember drinking quite a bit that night as you tried to get the doctor out of your mind. Jim cleared his throat, drawing you from your thoughts with a deep blush. He just shook his head and continued. “Secondly, I don’t know why Bones thought we were dating, cause I introduced you as my sister in law. Oh! Speaking of you just missed the vidcall. Little Dorinda says hello,” You let out a whoop and threw your arms around him.

“I told you it was gonna be a girl! Pay up!” You pulled back and held your hand out dramatically. Jim just shook his head and placed his hands on your shoulders to guide you to the door.

“I will after you go talk to Bones. He’s going to be losing his mind right about now, and I’m almost certain you owe him an apology for whatever you said,” You opened your mouth to respond, but he cut you off. “Nope. I know you, go apologize and give him a chance. Don’t make me order you.” You huffed in frustration and stuck your tongue out.

“Fine,” You said as he closed the door. As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. You took a deep breath before heading to the medbay. Leonard McCoy had one hell of an apology coming his way.


	2. Chapter 2

Leonard McCoy, renowned surgeon, CMO of the USS Enterprise, and world-class dumbass. He shook his head as he downed another glass of bourbon, trying to rack his brain to figure how he could have been so stupid. Surely at some point, Jim would have told him that you were his sister in law. Thinking back to when you were first introduced didn’t help a lick. He was too busy panicking over the feeling rising in his chest the moment he saw the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen step off the shuttle, and his heart threatened to beat right out of his chest when your head shot around to smile at Jim. He knew he was fucked, though, when you got close enough for him to see your stunning eyes. He’s certain Jim said something, but he was hopelessly lost in the (e/c) orbs that stole his breath away. He honestly wouldn’t have remembered the other man was standing there had Jim not given him a sharp elbow to the ribs; prompting him to stick out his hand and introduce himself.

_“Doctor Leonard McCoy, at your service ma’am. And just who might you be?”_ He couldn’t help but smile at your response, even now.

_“Lieutenant (y/f/n), here to protect this idiot,”_ _You gestured towards Jim_. _“By means of a blaster and some good old fashion southern charm,”_ _You finished with a wink. If he had any doubts before, he knew right then and there he was absolutely, completely, inescapably fucked. Before he could respond, Jim’s communicator went off, summoning them both to the bridge. Jim reached over and pulled you into a hug and pressed a kiss to your cheek. Leonard shook his head at himself, cause at that moment, his brain somehow came to the conclusion that you and Jim were dating. “James. Behave yourself,” You said, pointing a finger at the captain, before turning back to Bones. “I hope to see you around, Doc,"_ _He had just nodded tersely before turning to walk away._ _Well done, McCoy._ He thought, pouring yet another glass. _Jocelyn was right, you are useless._ He tried to ignore the lump growing in his throat as he put the stopper back in the bottle and reached for the glass. He barely made it halfway to his lips with it when someone knocked on his door, and before he could even shout at them to go away, your voice rang out.

“Leonard? I know you’re in there, can you please just let me in?” He rushed over to the door, slamming the open button. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of you, and his hand reached out of its own accord to see if you were real. “Hey,” You said as he brushed a stray hair out of your face before delicately placing his hand on your cheek, almost afraid you would disappear. He finally found his voice when you didn’t, and he stepped back to allow you into the room.

“Hey,” He cursed himself for the crack in his voice, and couldn’t help but pull you into his arms. “Listen, (y/n) I’m sorry. I was a damn fool for never even asking how you knew Jim, and an even bigger one for treating you like I did-” He was stopped by your finger pressed against his lips, and he tried to suppress a shudder when you gently dragged it down off them.

“Leonard, you are a massive dork. Maybe even a little oblivious, but you are no fool.” He opened his mouth to respond, but you spoke first. “Wanna know how I know?” He closed his mouth and nodded slowly. “Cause a fool wouldn’t be having dinner with me in say, 30 minutes?” Leonard took a step back, unable to hide the absolute terror that this was just a joke, a prank to get back at him for being an idiot, from his face. “Unless you don’t want to, of course. I just thought….actually I don’t know what I was thinking um I’ll just go,” You turned, and before he could stop himself, Leonard spun you around and pulled you into a breathtaking kiss. You didn’t even miss a beat, throwing your arms around his neck to pull him in closer. He put his hands on the small of your back to press your bodies together till you were flush against his chest and slowly dragged one up your side till it rested on your neck, thumb pressed against your pulse point. He couldn’t hide the groan that fell from his lips when you thrust your hands into his hair, tugging gently on the roots, and he felt you smile against his lips at the sound. When his lungs started screaming for air, he pulled back far enough to look into your eyes. _God, you’re so beautiful. I can’t believe I was missing out on this._ He tried his best to stop the smirk threatening to spill on his lips at the way your pulse was racing against his fingers still resting on your neck. “Consider that my apology for storming out on you.” You said breathlessly. He shook his head and chuckled.

“That was one hell of an apology, darlin,” He said, relishing in the grin you gave him. He looked over at the clock on the wall. “So. Dinner?” Your smile was absolutely blinding, as you replied.

“Dinner.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning!!!!!

Flirting with Bones had become much more entertaining; as difficult as that was to believe. As opposed to the scowls you used to receive, now you got flirted right back at; sometimes he even flirted first. Ever the quick study, he picked up on your responses and now knew exactly what to say to make your heart rate increase; which would be great, except he seemed to love to push your buttons at the absolute worst times possible. You supposed you deserved it after all the flirting you did, but damn if it wasn’t frustrating. Couple that with the fact that he was being a true southern gentleman and had yet to even attempt to take things further than second base, and you had a recipe to make a (y/n) about as grumpy as Bones himself. Which is why you found yourself sparring in an attempt to let off some steam. Unfortunately, this seemed to do nothing but increase your frustration. You ended up going back to your quarters for a shower, and when you got out, you found a message from Len telling you to meet him in his office at the end of his shift. You threw on your uniform dress and hurried there, wondering what could be so important that he would call you to his office. You smiled at Christine as you went by, and found the door to Leonard’s office open, with Jim standing in it.

“I’m serious Bones. If you don’t do something-” He cut his sentence off as he looked over and saw you. “(y/n)! I heard you’ve been plotting to spoil our niece,” He said, and you narrowed your eyes at his happy demeanor.

“Captain, what are you up to?” You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Nothing! Not a single thing. Just talking to Bones here about one of his patients,” He gestured to the man in question, who rolled his eyes.

“Hey, beautiful,” Leonard said, and before Jim could even open his mouth, he cut him off. “No, not you. Her.” Jim looked mildly offended and held his hand to his chest dramatically.

“Why, Doctor McCoy, you wound me!” You shook your head at Jim’s antics and pushed passed him to enter the room. Jim’s communicator went off as you went over to Len and planted a kiss on his lips. “Bones, I’m serious about that patient. If I don’t see an improvement, I’ll have to find a second opinion,” Jim said when you broke apart. Leonard just rolls his eyes and waves him off. “(y/n), see you tomorrow for the away mission?”

“Aye, Captain,” You said, offering him a salute. He shakes his head and walks out the door. “So, what’s up, doc?” You giggle at the side-eye Leonard gives you. “Sorry couldn’t resist,” He shakes his head as he gets up and closes the door. “Seriously though, what is up? I’m not in trouble, am I?” He gestures for you to take a seat on the couch as he goes over to retrieve the glasses and bottle of bourbon he has stashed in his desk.

“That depends. Did you make Ensign Rosenbaum cry yesterday?” Your eyes went wide.

“Did I? I mean, I may have gotten a little frustrated with her, but I didn’t think I was that harsh.” He cocks an eyebrow as he walks over to sit down, holding out a glass for you.

“(y/n), Jim said she tried to request a transfer. Whatever you did, it was more than a little frustrated. In fact, Jim seems to be under the impression that the whole crew thinks you’ve gone off the deep end,” You took the proffered glass and downed it in one go, earning an even more concerned glance from the man sitting beside you. “Hey. Come on, you know you can talk to me. What’s got you wound so tight, darlin’?” _How the hell do I say anything without scaring you off?_ “Is it something I’ve done?”

“No! Well. Sort of but it’s not what you think. I promise you that you’re okay, and I’m not upset with you,” You said in a rush. This just served to confuse him even more, and you let out a frustrated sigh. “Can I just kiss you? Please?” You said, moving closer to him. He cocked an eyebrow but nodded his head. You reached over and pulled his glass from his hand and placed it on the table before your lips crashed against his in what quickly became a hungry kiss. He groaned as you swiped your tongue over his lips, granting your silent request as his hands came to grip your hips. A fight for dominance in the kiss followed and with neither of you willing to give in, lasted until you were forced apart by the complete lack of air. You leaned your forehead against his, trying to catch your breath before leaning down to whisper in his ear. “I think I need a professional diagnosis, Leo,” Before you knew what was happening, he had you pulled into his lap, so you were straddling him.

“Why, it would be my genuine pleasure to help out a beautiful woman like you, darlin’. Just sit back and let’s see what the problem is,” He reached down and grabbed your wrist, finding your pulse point with practiced ease. “Elevated pulse, I see,” His head dropped down, and he brushed his lips against your neck ever so slightly, causing a shudder to run down your spine. “Touch sensitivity? Why, Lieutenant (y/l/n), if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were in a state of sexual frustration,” He ghosted his lips over yours, pulling back as you tried to close the distance.

“If I am, it’s your fault, Leonard McCoy.” You quipped. He chuckled darkly and pressed a quick kiss to your lips.

“If you wanted more, all you had to do was ask,” He said as he dragged his lips slowly up your neck, nipping at every sensitive spot you had. “I can’t read your mind, sugar,” The sound of his husky tone in your ear was absolutely sinful, and you could feel him smirk against your skin when you moaned. “Mmm, lordy that’s a sound I could get used to.” His arm snaked around your waist to pull you back into his chest, and he dipped his head down again to suck a mark right at the base of your neck, eliciting another shuddering moan from you. He placed a gentle kiss on the spot before running his hands up under your uniform to grip your ass and grind his hips into yours. “Do you feel what you do to me?” When you didn’t respond, he smacked your ass sharply, smirking as you gasped against his neck. “I asked you a question, Lieutenant.” You growled softly. Two could play this game.

“Yes, Doctor,” You purred, giving him the most innocent look you could muster whilst being on top of him. It took all of your strength not to smirk at the way his eyes darkened, hands gripping your thighs tight enough to bruise. “But do you know what you do to me?” You ran your hand up his chest and claimed his lips for another kiss; tugging his bottom lip between your teeth as you pulled back. “How distractingly perfect these lips are? How legendary,” You paused to place a kiss on the pads of his fingers, and maybe sucking ever so slightly; but who can blame you when his breath hitches, and he growls deep in his chest. “These hands are? Tell me, doctor, what is a girl to do when everything about a man makes her wonder what he’d feel like inside her?” The groan that escaped his lips as you ground against him was worth every second of not being able to touch him before.

“Off,” Was all he managed to say as he pushed you off him to start pulling at his uniform. You certainly didn’t have to be told twice, and only paused when you happened to glance over your shoulder to see him stroking himself, his eyes glued to your backside currently being presented to him as you were bent over to remove your panties. You stood up slowly, making your way back to him. “I’ve got half a mind to bend you over my desk and bury my face between your thighs till you scream my name, but lady’s choice,” You flushed right down to the tips of your toes, at the combination of his words and the way he was currently looking you up and down.

“Can I get a rain check on that? Cause right now I don’t care how you fuck me, just so long as you do it _now,_ ” He reached out and pulled you back into him for a bruising kiss, somehow managing to sit down and lift you into his lap without breaking it. His hand slipped in between your thighs, and he let out a low groan at the slickness.

“Is this all for me, sugar?” He began to stroke your clit, making you aware of just how close to the edge you are.

“Leo, please just shut up and fuck me,” He let out a breathless chuckle at your words, moving to line himself up with your entrance.

“Yes, ma’am,” He said, guiding you down on to him until he was fully seated inside you. Your breath caught in your throat, and you had to remind yourself to breathe for a moment as you tried to adjust to his size. “God, you’re so perfect, darlin’,” His accent had thickened with lust, and you could only imagine how your own must have sound. You both were lost in the sensations as you began to move, and soon you found yourself flying over the edge, clenching around him as he quickly followed suit. Neither of you moved for a while, too content to exist together in the moment. Finally though, you lifted yourself off of him, suppressing a moan at the feeling. After you had both dressed, he came and wrapped you into his arms. “Stay with me tonight?” He asked

“You aren’t worried about what people will think?”

“Sweetheart, we’ve been in here for a good long while. I’m more concerned that nurse Chapel is going to yell at me for contaminating the medbay area,” You laughed out loud, shaking your head at his small grin.

“Fair enough, doctor. I would be happy to spend the evening in your arms, but I can’t promise I’ll be able to keep my hands to myself,” You said with a wink. He let out an amused groan.

“Jesus, darlin’. You’re gonna be the death of me,” He said, resting his forehead against yours. You smirked.

“I could think of worse ways to go,”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed, and thank you for reading!!


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